STUCK (?)

What a life !

I've always want to have a normal life. And when I said normal, there's no distraction or problem that isn't really related with me. To be honest, I'm extremely tired-exhausted of everything. Of unvoted dramas that happened around me.

Relationship ? Even worse. One-Sided crush is complicated. I used to crush on him, like a lot but he, in the end gave me a damn fake hope when he's finally has a girlfriend. I mean, I don't know but I saw a girl on his Ig story (Which I confirmed is her girlfriend)

But now, I decided not to care. Control myself from crushing or liking someone. And never fall in love until I'm mature enough to feel it. Love isn't something you can turn on and off. It's permanent until it's faded by itself. And the hardest part of it- moving on.

Damn.

And let's proceed to friendship. Yes. I've a friends that I don't even titled em as my friends.I mean, I'm not someone who's giving the 'friend' title easily. I don't trust anyone. I've a various type of thoughts when I'm with someone- that they called friend(s)

Well, their friendship is kinda ruined because of a boy. I told you ; Just because a GUY. A damn not-so-good looking guy. I don't know whom story to trust because I felt like both of the story were twisted somehow. But still, i don't get it why they have to fought over a guy.

I missed the old situation (of me) where I've no damn problems at all. Being alone whereever I am, writing stories and singing without caring of others' problem. Nah. That's all for today (I guess ?)

Adios !

"With or without friend ? What question is that ?"

I know- yes I know you'll think that way. But for me, it's still a question that you have to ask yourself. You may be lucky to have friend(s) in your life but some people will hope they'll never have a friend like him/her.

Why ?

FAKE people and everything's FAKE. There's nothing original. I'd always hope I can have someone who's truly understands you without being freaking fake asking whether you're okay or not and then said anything bad behind you. Oh GOSH, what kind of 'friend' is that ?

I often asked myself about this. Do I deserve to have a friend ?

I've lived 19 years old-without having a truly friend besides me. Instead, I have various types of friend(s) you would like to know. I've had a betrayer, a story maker, a liar and even a traitor. What a sad life of me. That's why I never called someone-close yet not so close with me as a friend. Not even bestfriend.

BESTFRIEND ? LIKE SERIOUSLY ???!

Allahu. That's why I love to keep the problem myself- I won't tell other people about me- my problem because I hate expressing/confessing/telling something that waste my saliva-to those people who pretends to listen and understands when they're actually not.

I hate to think about this nonsense stuff. Seriously. I don't care what they think about me- I mean that's my personal stuffs and I don't share with those who doesn't trust me (And I don't trust em either)

WELL, I guess that's all for now. Everyone's mood in this house is damn bad. I don't know what to do or what to say- just sit by myself and writing something. It's not a goodbye, I'll come back later.

NHA

New Semester Begin !

Hello peeps ! 

My 5-months-holiday is almost end [Dah habis pun] and new semester dah start for UITMians. I don't know how should I feel. Nak kata semangat, ndak juga. Nak kata malas, ndak juga. I just hope my semester baik and get a good results for every test. 

Subjects ? Ya ampun some of the subjects are quite complicated T.T. Tapi some of it I rasa boleh fahamlah macam ELC, CTU and HBU kekekekeke. 

Housemates ? For now hanya kami berempat tambah dua orang senior yang I memang tak kenal. Not even their names. I don't know whether they're type of person yang kurang menonjol or me yang tak kenal seniors sangat hahahhaah.

My roommate is still the old one. Bilik boleh tahan besar for me. And suasana for now is kinda awkward sebab I tak rapat sangat dengan my coursemates XD. I guess that's all for today. See ya ~